Thoughts about Life and Death: The Bigger Picture
“What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset. ”
What is there to say about human mortality and death that has not been spoken or written about? Not a lot. But despite all these words, our thoughts and feelings about our own mortality and the contemplation of death are, like the experience of life itself, intensely personal and individual, and different for everybody. Only you really know what you think and feel, and the same goes for me. Ultimately, what we all want is a good death, and not a painful or premature one. But how it will actually be, we don’t know. What matters is how we live.
'The Age', October 2025
When does the issue of our own mortality dawn on us? For others I don’t know, but for me, probably in my 40s. If you’re lucky, you get to see your parents age. You’re ageing yourself, and at some point, you put two and two together.
“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honourable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. ”
I’ve had the same GP for over 40 years. In some ways, he knows me better than I do. When we see each other, our conversations are, whilst brief, always friendly and familiar. The last time I saw him, he told me that I had mentioned death twice. I realized that I had, both times in the context of living. I may have said something like ‘I’m getting old as we speak. We all die’.
“The song is ended but the melody lingers on. ”
I think it’s healthy to think about death. I think the more we do, the less we fear it and the finality it presents. After all, it’s as natural and necessary as birth. By recognizing it’s finality, it helps us live better. We have a finite time. Use it as well as you can, given what life has given you and done to you. Don’t waste a minute.
“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies in us while we live.”
The great American writer, Jack Kerouac once said to his friend, poet, Gregory Corso on the birth of Corso’s son, that the child had been born to die. In time Corso understood this to be true. The clock begins ticking as soon as we are conceived. We are born to die.
“Our prime purpose in life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them. ”
Having the blessing of life is like winning Tattslotto a million times over. It’s a gift. We are so incredibly lucky to have it. Of all the sperm and egg to meet in the right second of the right time on the right occasion, it was ours. It could have been a million others but it was the sperm and egg that became us. The gift of life. But we pay a high price for that gift. That price is the challenge of living life, given all that it throws at us. It’s dealing with the loss of those we love. And it’s the realization of our own mortality and eventual death. We get an incredible gift and pay a high price for it. It is what it is.
“Life and death matter, yes. And the question of how to behave in this world, how to go on in the face of everything. Time is short and the water is rising. ”
I’m not religious. I respect others’ religious and spiritual journeys, but I see both heaven and hell here on earth. I don’t believe heaven can be any better than the best of this world, and Hell can’t be any worse. Those who don’t subscribe to this view may not have seen or experienced the very worst of human behaviour, including the depravity humans can inflict on other humans, or the very best of it.
“Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways. ”
I don’t think that talking about religion is a bad thing. We should be able to compare notes on everything, and especially about life and what we think may happen to us when we die. But only if it’s just that. Comparing notes. I won’t try and change your mind and please don’t try to change mine. You worry about your soul and I’ll concern myself with mine. We all have to make some sense of our mortality and we all ought do it in a way that leaves us free to do it in our own way.
“Lives are like rivers: eventually they go where they must. Not where we want them to. ”
I was not born with a scientific brain; my brother got that one, but I’m a believer in science. I believe in the Big Bang theory. Science tells us that all of the atoms that are in our bodies and in the universe were created at the big bang, or, in a period of time relative to the age of the universe, not long afterwards. These atoms are the same ones that make up the matter of the universe. They make up planets and moons. They make up air and trees and rocks. And they make up us. It’s what unites us and connects us to everything else. And when we die and decompose, the molecules in our bodies break down, returning our atoms to the soil and the atmosphere. These become available to new life forms or whatever. And when, in about five billion years, our sun exhausts the hydrogen that creates its light and heat, it will expand, cool, become a red dwarf and later, a white dwarf and then a black dwarf. Our solar system will cease to exist and at some point, our atoms will be scattered and eventually become something else. They will live on in another form. Maybe our atoms will unite with the atoms of those we have loved. Maybe they won’t. But through those atoms, we get everlasting life. This may not be good enough for some, but it’s good enough for me.
'Vanitas Still Life with Violin, Sheet Music, Vase and Skull' by Edwaert Collier